Graphic of the Basement Talk beastUpwards and onwards

It is not too often the worlds of
asset finance and online erectile dysfunction medicine collide –
but this month, collide they did.

While the team at Leasing
Life
were innocently, and in a masculine manner, preparing one
of our weekly email newsletters we were abruptly arrested in our
labours by a disturbing message.

Beside a small icon, coloured
unmistakably with the red of alarm, our perplexed reporters were
informed that the subject line of the email they were preparing to
send out contained the word ‘cialis’ – which it categorically did
not.

Even though this mysterious word
was not present, we were told the newsletter would be regarded as
spam and rejected by inboxes, leaving our readers on tenterhooks if
we could not fix the problem.

Hurried consultation was had with
our IT boffins as well as a search on Google and a quick read of
some Wikipedia pages.

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‘Cialis’, it was soon discovered,
is the name of a common brand of erectile dysfunction treatment and
as such often regarded as a harbinger of spam mail connected with
sensitive man problems.

With this issue cleared up, several
eyebrows which had been raised remained so as we tried to discover
where in our email this word was.

One of our number, a
Countdown fan and red-blooded stallion of a man as we all
are, soon discovered that if one removed more than three quarters
of the letters in one of the headlines (which contained the words
“commercial vehicles”), it was indeed possible to spell
“cialis”.

We quickly changed the headline,
removing some of the offending letters, and were relieved to see
our newsletter sent without further issue.

“It’s email correctness gone mad,”
quipped a strong, vigorous colleague.

Indeed it was.

 

Puff pastry

Every once in a while, news reaches
Leasing Life Towers which has the power to affect the
lives of every one of us.

This month we were informed of a
new contract won by Hitachi Capital Vehicle Solutions to provide
the fleet for Ginsters, the “brand leader in the chilled savoury
pastry market”.

Cornish pastiesThis
news prompted probing contemplation among our roster of intellects,
and taboo-shattering questions were raised, like: “I wonder how
other pies and stuff are delivered, and whether it involves
leasing?”

After frenzied research and
anonymous meetings in darkened underground car parks we discovered
that the fleet arrangements of the UK’s savoury pastry market
reveal a hierarchy reflective of the class system which sustains
the country and all the pies within it.

Ginsters, with its leased fleet of
171 vans represents the everyman; Ginsters got where it is on hard
graft and no-nonsense and has no need to waste money on vehicle
ownership.

Greggs, the merchant-class baker of
every high street, has sought to elevate itself above this state of
affairs and has moved proudly into outright ownership with its
fleet arrangements.

Even Greggs, however, fails to
reach the social heights of Pork Farms.

Truly the landed gentry of chilled
savoury pastries, these noble bakers would never even condescend to
deliver their own pies and sausage rolls. Why would they, when
other rough-handed traders are graciously allowed to pick them up
from Pork Farms’ Nottingham estates instead?

And that’s about all we discovered
about the leasing habits of the UK’s chilled savoury pastry
providers.