Collections Nightmares logoEver found
yourself on the runway of a developing nation’s airport about to
repossess some long-sought asset, only to be surrounded by a
private militia wielding former Soviet machine guns?

Perhaps you’ve turned up at a
premises in Middlesbrough to collect a car only to be threatened
with grievous bodily harm by a former client turned menacing

Whatever your Collection
Nightmare we at
Leasing Life are looking for the worst
repossession tales from anywhere in Europe for this diary page, so
get in touch if you have a horror story worth sharing, or perhaps a
leasing myth that you’ve heard.

We look forward to sharing your
This month, two brave leasemen reveal the memories that
haunt them.

First up, Nigel Kelk,
leasing manager at Hobart UK
, recalls a Transit van
through the mists of time:

“In the dim and distant past, while
working for bank-backed finance houses, part of the sales role
included assisting with defaults and collections.

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By GlobalData

“One collection of a Transit
springs to mind.

“After turning up to an address on
time as agreed, I was confronted by a fairly angry bloke wielding a
stick. Half an hour passed before the police turned up to help me
collect the vehicle.

“Once they had sorted him out I
went to the van, put my hand on the door handle only to hear him
say, ‘You can keep the f***ing dog too!’ and the biggest, hairiest,
drooliest Alsatian-type animal with huge teeth launched itself at
the drivers side window – Paarrrp!”

A natural reaction to a salivating
hellhound guarding a commercial vehicle.

“Two hours later the RSPCA turned
up, dealt with the dog, and then the van wouldn’t bloody start!

“A supposedly simple half- hour job
took the best part of the day! Oh happy days.”

Next up Lee Brenard, head
of asset finance at Lease UK,
proves even nightmares can
have happy endings.

“A few years ago I was busy looking
for a number of very large Terex dump trucks which had

“I heard one of them was possibly
on hire in a quarry in the south so I arranged for our repo agent
to come along with a low-loader parked around the corner.”

A busy day at the quarry in the
height of summer; our hero guessed he wouldn’t get the truck past
the security gate without a struggle.

“We asked the site foreman if we
could do a routine inspection and he reluctantly agreed to drive us
around the site.

“When we arrived and confirmed the
site held one of the missing trucks we asked the driver if he liked
the truck and he said he would if the air-conditioning had

A cunning plan was formulated.

“The driver said he finished his
shift at 5pm, so we asked him to leave the truck on the other side
of the security gate with the keys in it and we would swap it for a
replacement truck before he arrived for work at 7am the next

“At 5.05pm the truck was on our
low-loader and we were off and very relieved!”

Until next time…

Got a Collection Nightmare?