The fashion for
attempting to glamorise jobs with important-sounding titles is so
old-hat it is likely out of fashion these days.
We’ve all heard of
the dustbin men rebranded as mobile refuse engineers, or some
equally ludicrous aggrandising title, and chances are it is no more
than clichéd urban myth.
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While job titles in
the financial services industry are less likely to irk the
‘pc-gone-mad-innit brigade’ whose indignation fills many a column
inch on the topic, there are a few examples of calling a spade a
portable earth displacement device.
Let’s be honest, if
your sales team consists of 35 sales ‘executives’ the word has lost
a little of its meaning.
This month,
however, a new low – or high – was reached in the quest for most
cringe-inducing PR rebrand, rendering ‘blue-sky thinking’ as
prosaic as A Guide to European Tax Law.
A new recruitment
company emailed to inform Leasing Life of its launch and
introduce its board.
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By GlobalDataGood, yes, let’s
get to know the MD, finance director and head of sales – these
could be useful people, we thought.
This firm is run by
a different breed, however. People who have no need for such
accurate and helpfully descriptive titles. This company is run by
the Director of Possibilities and his trusty team: Director of
Inspiration, Director of Opportunities and Director of
Responsibilities.
There can only be
three possibilities here. Firstly, it’s a joke and we’ve been had
hook, line and sinker. A savvy and self-effacing PR firm has
nonsense-baited us and lampooned their colleagues for a bit of
harmless fun. On second thoughts, this is not a possibility at
all.
Another option is
our four directors have been slipped one too many colourful fungi
on a trip to Amsterdam and, on a slight diversion en route to the
funny farm, have started a shiny, sparkly cult for disillusioned
finance professionals.
For reasons our lawyers were at pains to stress, we
will suggest this option, too, is unlikely.
The only
possibility, therefore, is the sensible world has gone to hell in a
handcart and we’ve been slow to catch on. Therefore, it’s time to
embrace the madness.
Please direct any inquiries to Fred Crawley, Captain of
Lexical Clarification and Weaver of News Dreams; Richard Brown,
Chief Morpheme Engineer and Utterance Commander; or Grant
Collinson, Prose Poem Executive and Asset Finance
Balladeer.
